Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Grand Lake on the west side of Rocky Mountain National Park; Looks like a postcard

I recently read a blog about someone's relationship with the USA and how it was similar to a relationship with an ex-boyfriend. I feel like Colorado is that place for me. We never really got along with each other and I knew from the age of 15 that we weren't meant to be and that I wanted to move on. But for some reason I keep going back.

Don't get me wrong, Colorado is a great state. In fact when people talk about how great their state is, I am always quick to defend Colorado or talk about what makes it amazing and unique. Personally, for me right now, the timing just isn't right. For all of the things that I love about Colorado, there are are similar things that I can't stand. In other words it's not you, it's me.

When I am homesick in another country, I long to see the mountains, feel the sense of familiarity, I miss the amazing summers, the mild winters and the beauty that encompasses this state. I miss the proximity to nature, the ability to be in the mountains to hike in under 10 minutes, camping, good beer, 300 days of sunshine and the friends still there. I hype it up in my mind and when I return I am disappointed again and again to see that it hasn't changed, but knowing I have.

The atmosphere for me is tainted by family problems (which I won't go into, but if you know me you know what I'm talking about), a ridiculously small and boring downtown Denver, a lack of public transport (Denver area), a population that has taken medical marijuana to a whole new level ($50 and a headache- well you clearly need weed for that and can have a prescription aka green card) and people who only want to play. The kind of people that are attracted to Colorado and who love the outdoors, unfortunately often times are not on the track to self-actualization or growing up and joining the real world. I respect that is some people's life, but it's just not the mentality that I have.

Estes Park side of RMNP

I know that I will be back, maybe not for a long time, but flings with Colorado are always going to bring anticipation and comfort. I'm applying to grad school here with reservations, but I assume that everyone at CU Health Sciences is probably a little more focused and motivated.

Colorado is definitely like an ex, I come searching for things that I know it can't provide, but hoping every time that something will have changed and be different. I will continue searching for the place in the world that gives me a sense of home and belonging. I am not sure you ever get over a relationship without finding someone (in this case someplace else) better for you, that makes you forget about the other.

Until then Colorado, you're my first true love, but we really need to see other people.

Me at Flagstaff, about a 5 min drive from Boulder!