In Transit: Stupid Americans

I have been lucky to steer clear (generally) of most Americans that fit the negative stereotype of ignorance and laziness. I was, however, unlucky enough to sit next to one on my ten-hour flight from Newark to Tel Aviv. The flight was packed with Christians from Texas and Oklahoma going on pilgrimages to the Holy Land to find the roots of their religions. It makes sense, but I was pretty surprised at the number of über religious christians there were on the flight. There were nearly as many of them as Orthodox and Hassidic Jews.

After being asked to move twice to new seats so that friends and families could sit together, I was squeezed into the window seat (I prefer aisles for long flights and even had to give up one with a free seat next to it) next to a woman from a group of pastors from Oklahoma on a trip to reaffirm their faith and station in the church. Apparently, a typical pastor in the Methodist church only lasts 7 years and these pastors were reaching this expiration and the bishop was attempting to help them stay with the church.

I tend to try and not engage in unnecessary conversation on the plane, it's not that I do not like to talk to strangers, in fact some of them are really interesting. However after last years travels, I've discovered that the interesting ones are generally not the ones that strike up a conversation on the plane. Usually, it's the people I don't want to talk to that have that look in their eye like they want to talk. It's that darting eye, trying to catch your eye contact so that they get the ok to engage another person in conversation. I try to not talk to these people because ten hours straight in a five foot square area is a lot of time to spend with anyone that you do not have a close relationship with or are annoyed with aka most people interested in talking with you about nothing.

I was seated next to one of these darty-eyed women, a pastor from the group described above. I knew from the moment she opened her mouth that her semi-southern accented self and I would probably have differing views on life. Here are some highlights from the conversation between this woman and I on the plane:

1. After some standard getting to know you questions: Her: "Oh so you're moving to Chicago? I don't know why you would do that, that is a big change from Denver. You are going to hate it there, the weather sucks and you will probably get shot if you go to the wrong part of town." [Who gives that kind of response to someone?] 
2. Still getting to know you questions: "You travelled all by yourself for a year? Wow I would never, ever do that. How weird." [I am struggling to portray exactly how this came across, mostly it had a distinct, what's wrong with you tone. As in, you are clearly a crazy person. Thanks for the undesired comments about my lifestyle.]
3. After we are on the plane a while: Her: "What language do you think that guy is speaking?" Me: "He is speaking Hebrew...." Her: "Really? Wow, I thought that was a dead language." "Umm, well that's what they speak in Israel." Trying hard to redeem herself: "Well I speak Spanish, some German, some Greek and a little bit of Arabic and I knew it wasn't one of those..." [Is this woman for real? You seriously are going to a country that you didn't even research enough to see what language they speak there?]
4. During the flight: "Why do you these women have their heads covered in scarfs." "Umm well they're Orthodox Jews..." [Maybe I'm stupid to think that when you know a lot about religion and study it everyday that you are not living in complete ignorance of other religions.]
5. After the Continental's "Welcome to Israel" video where they specified if you were bringing large, importing quantities of electronics you have to go through the "special" immigration line: "I brought some electronics, should I go through that line?" [Clearly this lady has not travelled a lot and who would submit themselves to the special line for having an iPod??]

After the first ten minutes of talking to this woman I knew I really didn't want to talk to her. I tried everything, I was clearly watching movies with head phones on for most of the time I was awake, but that didn't seem to matter to this woman. She would just turn and start commenting to me. She did not get the hint at all, I didn't even think I was being subtle. I am just thankful that I didn't really sleep that much for the two nights prior to leaving and was able to sleep a lot more than usual on the flight.

I hope to steer clear of more women like her during the rest of my time in Israel. At least I should be able to avoid ten hour exposures to such awful people. I know that having a disarming personality will be a huge asset in my career, but it is often a huge pain in the ass in situations like this one. 

View from the coffee shop in Jerusalem that I'm writing from- more on why I am not in Tel Aviv later

(PS my camera died a painful death on NYE last trip, so there will be limited photos this time. My semi-broken iPhone will have to somewhat suffice as long as I can keep it alive.)